"wine"ing about "screw"ing around

It recently occurred to me that many people do not know what corked wine tastes like. A few weekends ago I ordered two very expensive glasses of wine at an establishment I frequent.

The wine began beautifully and then WHAM! that skunky taste- irrefutably corked. I hate calling corked on a glass of wine in a place I frequent because most bartenders have no idea what a good glass of wine is supposed to taste like and think you are being high maintenance. Fortunately, Dave is an exception. His knowledge of wine is quite good and his palate is excellent.

I called him over and offered no explanation other than I wanted him to try the wine. He drank, looked pleased, then YUCK! corked. He promptly took both of our glasses and disposed of the offensive contents-opened a new bottle and poured us two new glasses-tasting first to make sure this one was fine. It was-and it was as scrumptious as I had anticipated.

A week later I am in another very nice place with a different friend and order two glasses of nice wine. A sip, enjoyment, then WHAM! corked again! How can this be two weekends in a row-I can go years without have a corked wine and now two in a row. Hesitantly I call over the bartender, explaining that i think the wine is corked, expecting a HMPH out of him. instead, he smells it, rotates it in his nose, and then takes a taste. Face does a nice corkscrew and we get two completely different glasses on the house.

Both times, my friends would have drunk this offensive wine. In fact, one of them told me she would just think it was a type of wine she didn't like, make note of it and never drink it again. Hence why some people announce they don't like Cabernet's or Malbec's or some other type of wine. Chances are it was a bad wine, but chances are just as good that it was corked.

SO what is corked wine? The best way I can describe it is the finish on a wine tastes like your dirty laundry smells. Sometimes you can smell it-but more often that not, you cannot smell it. The best chance at smelling it is when the bottle is opened. The cork will usually have an offensive odor. But so few bartenders or waitstaff smell the cork anymore and it is not routinely offered to the buyer. Also, if buying wine by the glass at the bar-you have no chance at a cork smelling unless the bottle was opened in front of you.

And what causes this? Corks are prone to something called TCA contamination. It can also come from the wine barrel-but more often it is from the cork. This is the very reason you are seeing screw top wines come back in vogue.

Many wineries-even upscale ones-are sick and tired of losing inventory to corking. So their are two alternatives:
Screw tops or synthetic tops. Both are much more prevalent these days. I must say-I miss corks. I love their spongy nature and the way the wine bleeds its color onto the cork. The ritual of smelling the cork of a newly opened bottle and getting that earthly fragrance from the cork-anticipating the wine's flavors.

Synthetics and screw tops offer none of that-but they do eliminate cork "corking". This is not to say you can't still have a corked bottle of wine-remember a very small percentage of corked wines have been ruined by a barrel. So even it it has a screw top or a synthetic cork-if it taste musty, it's probably corked.

Of course the biggest knock off on those screw tops is the lack of ceremony they allow at a fancy or romantic dinner. Somehow the snap of metal breaking as you twist the cap cannot compete with the familiar thwack you hear when bottle is uncorked. We are programed to anticipate something good is coming when we hear that sound.

So don't drink bad wine. All wines are not to your taste I am sure-this is not what this is about. This is about the difference in eating spoiled meat or meat that is not in a sauce you fancy. If you don't like the taste of the wine-move on to something else. But if it tastes like dirty sneakers-chances are pretty high that its corked. Don't drink bad wine. It spoils the palate and deters anticipation of a good thing.